


We Have Only Today

by i_will_always_find_you



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forced Marriage, Future Fic, Gen, Love, OTP Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3838444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_will_always_find_you/pseuds/i_will_always_find_you
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been three years since she had seen Oliver Queen. She quickly reminded herself that he wasn’t called Oliver anymore - that the Oliver she had loved was all but lost to her. When he had agreed to take over for Ra’s Al Ghul, she knew what his decision would cost her...Set years in the future. Oliver is head of the LoA, married to Nyssa. But a threat to Starling has brought them both back to face their past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: AU - Takes place three years in the future. Although this will (most likely) become very AU after episode 3x21 airs, I couldn't help it. [I started writing this during Season 3...so it is completely not canon now] Enjoy!

It had been three years since she had seen Oliver Queen. She quickly reminded herself that he wasn’t called Oliver anymore - that the Oliver she had loved was all but lost to her. When he had agreed to take over for Ra’s Al Ghul, she knew what his decision would cost her. Love. Happiness. Serenity. A life together. She wasn’t naive enough to think he’d come back to her now, or that she’d ever see him again. After he was forced to marry, he had disappeared from all of their lives in a flash. She barely had time to properly say goodbye before he was whisked back to Nanda Parbat for the wedding ceremony and out of their lives forever. He thought it would make it easier for them all to move on if he didn’t contact them. Felicity didn’t even know whether or not he was still alive.

She held onto those few nights she had with him like they were precious metals. She kept them locked deep inside a box in the corner of her mind, only opening it in times of desperation and extreme loneliness.

Tonight was one of those nights. She had just returned from a date that Diggle set up. He had assured her it was a suitable match and that he was a nice guy, but after the appetizers had been ordered and a glass of wine placed in front of her, she hadn’t listened to a word he said. It wasn’t that he was boring or unattractive, it was that today, she just didn’t feel like pretending to care. It was always hard for her on the anniversary of the last time she had seen him. She remembered the night he left and that last kiss they had. Sometimes, when she closed her eyes, she could still feel his hand grazing her face.

_ “Don’t go. Please,” she begged. _

_ “Felicity, it was the deal I made. I have to. I have to marry her,” Oliver whispered, the pain evident in his voice. _

_ “We’ll run away. We’ll escape.” _

_ “They’d find us,” he said gently. _

_ “So we’ll keep moving.” _

_ “Felicity. We’d spend the rest of our lives on the run. Is that what you want?” _

_ She paused for a moment, thinking. “As long as I’m with you, I’ll find a way to be happy.” _

_ He couldn’t help smiling at her optimism. “I won’t do that to you. I won’t have you live that kind of life.” _

_ He was right and she knew it. As she looked at him, she felt her heart break into a million little pieces. She realized in that moment that she would never be whole again. _

_ “It’s time,” he said. “They are waiting for me.” _

_ She couldn’t take her eyes off of him as he reached for her. She stepped into his arms, trying to memorize the way they felt around her. She inhaled deeply, knowing it was the last time she’d smell him. And too quickly, he was stepping back from her and cupping her face. He ran a finger over her cheek, and then leaned in and kissed her. It was a kiss that said a thousand unspoken words. I will always love you. I will miss you. I won’t forget you. And then the pressure of his lips and his hands were gone. She stood there, eyes tightly closed. She knew that when she opened them he would be gone. _

Felicity couldn’t believe it had been three years. Sometimes it felt like it had been longer, sometimes shorter. She stood up from her couch, realizing it was stupid to sit there and feel sorry for herself. She texted Laurel to see if she was interested in grabbing a drink. She then walked over to the mirror hanging above the table in the entryway to look at her reflection. She brushed a few stray hands from her face, and re-tied her ponytail.

“Looking good, Ms. Smoak,” she said out loud to herself.

“I think so, too.” A voice said from the corner of the room. Felicity spun around quickly, recognizing the voice.

Nyssa was staring back at her, eyes blazing.

“What are you doing here?” Felicity asked, her heart racing.

“I came back because Al Sah-Him asked me to.”

“You mean your husband?” Felicity said bitterly.

“We may be bound by blood as husband and wife, but you and I both know it is nothing more.” And while a part of Felicity was relieved to hear this, she was still confused as to why Ra’s Al Ghul’s daughter and Oliver’s wife was standing in her apartment.

“I don’t understand. Why now? Why did he send you now?”

“The League has become aware of a threat against Starling City. He sent me back to handle it.”

_Because he didn’t want to come himself._ The unspoken words hung in the air between them.

“But what are you doing in my apartment? Surely the threat isn’t in my apartment...” Felicity tried to crack a smile to ease the tension.

Nyssa walked across the room towards Felicity, taking an envelope out of her jacket pocket. Felicity opened her hand automatically as she placed the envelope in it. It was crumpled, and the left corner had been ripped off.

“I didn’t know you’d be here. I was going to leave it for you,” Nyssa said as she moved her shoulders in what could only be described as a shrug. “It’s better I hand it to you in person, I guess. He would want to make sure you received it.”

Felicity knew who it was from without opening it. Al Sah-him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait a few days to post this, but I figured I might as well post it now :) Please let me know what you think!

Felicity sat in the corner of the old foundry on the floor, twirling an arrowhead. Laurel was seated on a chair a short distance away, thinking deeply. They hadn’t used the foundry in years, only coming down here when they had nowhere else to go.

“I came as soon as I could,” Diggle said as he suddenly appeared, rushing down the stairs. “What’s going on?”

Still holding the arrowhead, Felicity pointed to the table where the letter sat. Laurel barely acknowledged Diggle’s arrival, still lost in thought. Digg picked it up and began reading.

_Felicity,_

_ I’ve sent Nyssa to deliver this letter to you - I hope it reaches your hands safely. I write to you because there is a war coming and Starling is going to get caught in the middle. Normally, the League wouldn’t involve itself in such matters, but Starling was once my home and I feel that I must defend it. If there comes a time when I should appear, please know that I will do my best to keep my distance from you, Digg, and Laurel - it is not my intention to cause any of you pain as I am not the man I once was. _

_ Al Sah-him _

“He didn’t even have the balls to sign it as Oliver?” Diggle said.

“Apparently not,” Felicity responded.

“It’s because he’s not Oliver anymore,” Laurel said quietly. She lifted her head up to stare at both of them.

“Yesterday morning, I didn’t even know if he was alive!” Felicity shouted. Her anger suddenly rising to the surface.  “And then Nyssa shows up, in my apartment no less, to deliver me a handwritten letter from him telling us the city is in danger and just OH BY THE WAY YOU MAY RUN INTO ME. And I’m just supposed to what, pretend I didn’t just receive this? I’m supposed to act like everything is okay?”

“He probably thinks we’ve all moved on,” Diggle said, trying to reason with her.

“How could we EVER move on? He changed us. He made us who we ARE. We loved him. And then he just ripped it all away,” she responded.

“I know. And deep down, he knows that. But Laurel is right, he’s not Oliver anymore. We don’t know what he’s been doing these last three years. The lazarus pit has most likely changed him. He may be more like Ra’s than Oliver.”

Felicity stared at Diggle in disbelief. “A minute ago, you were complaining that he didn’t even sign the letter as Oliver!”

“I know. Because it’s just...it’s hard to accept he’s not really _Oliver_ anymore.”

They were all silent for a few minutes. Felicity got up from the floor and threw the arrowhead angrily down on the table.

“Well, I don’t know about the two of you, but I can’t just sit around here waiting for him to _maybe_ show up. I’m going to find him,” she announced.

“Felicity,” Laurel said gently. “He didn’t say he was definitely going to come back to Starling. He’s probably still in Nanda Parbat or off on League business elsewhere.”

“If he sent that letter, he’s coming,” she replied with certainty.

***

Felicity was at a complete loss about what to do. In the years since Oliver joined the League, she had created a nest in the old clocktower that was once Sara’s hideout. Computer monitors, wires, and servers were scattered throughout the space. She didn’t come here often, only when it was necessary or when Diggle or Laurel needed her help.

She had tried desperately to build a life for herself away from all of this, away from memories of Oliver and the love she would never have. She had taken a job in the R&D department at Palmer Technologies to pass the time. Most days, she felt like she was doing something productive. She was currently working on developing technology that would bring clean water to poor, undeveloped areas. While she wasn’t leading a completely fulfilling life, she had at least managed to be happy. She went on dates, she had had a few boyfriends. She saw Diggle and Lyla and little Sara on a regular basis. Her and Laurel hung out frequently. It wasn’t that her life wasn’t filled with people who she loved - it was that she felt like some crucial piece was missing.

When it became clear that Oliver was going to join the League, they had spent one perfect night together. The problem in doing so was that after opening herself to him so completely, she had given him a piece of herself. At the time, she was trying to provide closure to a situation that was irreparable. But closure didn’t come from that night - only questions of what if.

_What if he hadn’t joined the League?_

_ What if we had saved him? _

_ What if he came back to us now? _

_ What if we were allowed to finally be together? _

_ What if...? _

She leaned back in her desk chair, surveying the room. She wondered what he’d think of this place. He’d probably scold her at first. And then thank her. She smiled briefly before focusing on the task at hand - tracking him down.

She knew that he had sent that letter because he was _definitely_ coming. The question was - was he already here? She had run facial recognition searches through most of the street cameras in Starling, even though she knew he wouldn’t show his face in public. It had only been three years, there were still plenty of people in the city who would recognize Oliver Queen.

She drummed her fingers against the keyboard, trying to figure out what to do next. She heard shuffling near the staircase and spun around in time to see Laurel coming up the last few steps.

“I figured I’d find you here,” she said to Felicity, who merely nodded in response.

The silence stretched between them.

“Listen…” Laurel began. “I know we haven’t talked about it much, about your feelings for Oliver and what happened when he left…”

“And I don’t want to talk about it now,” Felicity said as she turned back to face the computer monitors. She wasn’t in the mood to start discussing a relationship from three years ago right now.

“I just wanted you to know that I know how you felt. How you feel,” said Laurel. Felicity turned back to her, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“You lost Oliver...but I - I lost Nyssa.”

“Oh, Laurel...I didn’t, I had no -”

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t even realize what I felt for her until she was gone. I was confused and it was weird because of Sara...and I...I just didn’t get a chance to tell her how I felt.”

Felicity, at least, had had the opportunity with Oliver.

“Well, the good news is that she’s back in town,” Felicity said with a small smile.

“That’s actually why I’m here,” Laurel said. “I want you to find her for me.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After last night's episode, this has actually become slightly more canon which makes me happy :) Please let me know what you think and feel free to follow me on tumblr at fangirlsfanclub.tumblr.com!

Nyssa entered the room silently. One of the first things she was taught as a child was to become one with the shadows, and she had mastered it long ago. _He’d_ be able to hear her though, no matter how quiet she was.

Al Sah-him stood with his back to her, fingers clasped behind him, staring out the window. The room was decrepit and run down, but she knew he’d want nothing more.

“You delivered it?” He asked.

“I did."

Still not turning around to face her, he asked, “Did you see her?”

“I did.”

He nodded, lost in thought. _Thoughts of her_ Nyssa thought quietly to herself. She continued to stand just inside the doorway, hands held tightly in front of her, waiting for direction.

As leader of the League of Assassins, and her husband, it was her duty to obey him. She was strong-willed and argued with him often, more than any would. And over the course of the last three years, they had become confidants rather than lovers, and he trusted her more than anyone else in the League. From the moment he had taken over for her father, he had changed. He was ruthless and dark, manic and vicious, but he had to be, to be leader of the League. Occasionally, she’d catch a glimpse of the Oliver she once knew. But it was rare, and it was mostly when they were alone.

Once, a young, abandoned child had shown up in Nanda Parbat, claiming to be the son of one of the members of the League. Nyssa’s father would have shown swift justice to the League member for allowing such a thing to happen, but Al Sah-him allowed the child to spend a day with his father. After watching them together, he sent them both home.

Another time, Nyssa had disobeyed a direct order. He had every right to physically punish her, but instead, chose silence. He, nor any other member of the League, spoke to her for an entire month. When the thirty days were up, his first words to her were, “Never again.” He had confided in her ever since. Until now. Now, he was silent.

****

Oliver had been hearing whispers for months that different members of the Justice League had been spotted in Starling. At first, he thought it was because they were trying to keep tabs on him. But when the visits became more frequent, he had realized, rather quickly, that that was in fact _not_ what they were doing.

After sending some of his spies into the city, he discovered that the Justice League was protecting a device at Palmer Technologies. He didn’t know what the device was, or why they were trying to keep it hidden, but he knew that if the Justice League’s visits were becoming more frequent, than someone out there wanted that device.

He knew he had been slightly dramatic in his letter to Felicity, but he didn’t want her, nor Diggle and Laurel, to think that he had come back for something so seemingly insignificant. The problem was, if there was a dangerous device being hidden within the Starling city lines, he wanted to know what it was. After all, Starling had once been his home.

As leader of the League of Assassins, he could more or less do what he wanted as long as he stuck to their code. When he had given up Oliver Queen to become Al Sah-him, he had tried to give up every part of his former life. And for the most part, he had. He was cruel now, and ruthless, but he had no choice.

Nyssa stood behind him, waiting for directions. He knew she didn’t like being back here any more than he did. He had grown fond of her over the years, and even though they didn’t have a physical relationship, he was glad he had her to talk to and confide in.

He relaxed, turning around to face her.

“What do you need from me?” she asked.

“We’re going to need to get into Palmer Technologies in the next day or two. We need to find out what that device is.”

“It shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“With the Justice League hanging around, it may be,” Oliver replied.

“I thought they agreed to leave the League alone.”

“They did,” he replied with a smirk. “As long as I didn’t get involved in _their_ league business.”

“I see,” Nyssa replied, hanging her head.

He could tell she was uncomfortable and that something was bothering her. When it was just him and Nyssa, he would occasionally let his guard down and talk to her as Oliver instead of as Al Sah-him. He felt the need to do so now as he saw the stress etched upon her face.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly. She snapped up to look at him, realizing he was going to talk to her as _Oliver_.

“Not particularly, no.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Me either.”

“She looked well,” Nyssa said gently. Oliver nodded in response.

“You don’t like Starling much, do you?” he asked.

“I have a lot of not-so-great memories here. Of Sara and…”

“Laurel?” he finished for her.

“It was complicated.”

He snorted. “I understand complicated.”

To change the subject, Nyssa announced, “So, Felicity has created a lair of sorts in Sara’s old clocktower.”

“She did _what_?”

“I followed her there this morning. They never rebuilt the foundry after you left, so it appears she has created a new place to work from.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Did you really think they would give it all up?”

‘Yes,” he replied. And then after a beat, “No. But I hoped they would.”

He turned back towards the window.

“Come on,” Nyssa said. “I’ll show it to you.”

“I know where it is,” he replied.

“I know you do. But I’m not going to let you go stalk it out alone later.” She gave him a soft smile before tossing him his bow and quiver.

****

It didn’t take long for them to get there. They entered the building directly across the street and made their way to the rooftop so that they would have a perfect view inside the clocktower.

Oliver breathed in deeply as he spotted her leaning over her computer monitor to check a wire in the back. She looked the same. He’d come back once, six months after he had married Nyssa. He’d done what he was doing now and just watched her from afar. It didn’t hurt any less three years later.

A shadow appeared in the corner of the room, and Laurel stepped into view. Oliver heard Nyssa inhale. His hands were starting to sweat, his heart beginning to race. He had forgotten what it was like to feel anything, _especially_ love. She was his light. And after being in the dark for so long, he couldn’t help but smile.

For a long time, Oliver and Nyssa stood across the street, staring at their lost loves. Oliver’s heart pounded in his chest, while Nyssa’s heart ached. Finally, when he had his heart rate under control again, when he felt like he could breath and the whole world wasn’t collapsing down on him, he turned towards Nyssa. A few tears ran down her cheek, and a gentleness passed over him. He reached for her hand. She looked at it for a moment before intertwining her fingers through his.

“Come on,” he whispered in her ear, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Let’s go home.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter. Please let me know your thoughts!

Felicity had a feeling someone was watching her. Laurel was in a chair a short distance away, her head leaning on her arms.

She stood up from the computer and walked slowly towards the window, peering out. There was no one there. She checked the windows of the building across the street, but she didn’t spot anything unusual. She couldn’t shake the feeling that someone had been there moments before.

“What’s wrong?” Laurel asked, lifting her head up to look at Felicity.

“Nothing…I just thought…nevermind,” she said as she returned to the computer.

“Any luck?”

“I’m getting close. I was able to locate Nyssa on a few city cameras after she left my apartment. I’ll find her.”

“I never doubted you,” Laurel said, smiling.

Felicity went back to work, hacking into the Starling City traffic system. She pulled up the traffic cameras, running a search for Nyssa’s face. She didn’t expect her to travel by car, but she was hoping one had maybe captured her on a street corner. Nothing.

She paused for a moment, and then turned her attention to a monitor on her left where she had been running a search through Watchful Eye’s security system database. Watchful Eye was responsible for the cameras on almost every dilapidated building in the city. If Nyssa had been anywhere near an abandoned building, those cameras would have caught her. And she had a feeling that is _exactly_ the type of place where she and Oliver would hideout.

A loud ping a few minutes later alerted her to a hit. Laurel rushed over to the screen. Nyssa’s hair whipped around her face in the image, she was clearly trying to move quickly.

“Where?” Laurel said. “Where is that?”

Felicity typed a few prompts into the system. “I knew it. She’s in the Glades. I knew that’s where they’d set up shop.”

“They?” Laurel questioned. “Felicity…you don’t still think Oliver is with her, do you?”

Felicity was silent.

“I need to go see her. Can you get me an exact address?”

Felicity gave her a look.

“Of course you  _can_ . What I meant was, may I have it?” She smiled at Felicity.                              

“1221 Queens Boulevard. Not too far from Verdant, actually.”

Laurel stood, grabbing her bag and jacket which she had thrown into a corner of the room.

“If you find her--”

“I’ll ask about Oliver, don’t worry.”

“No,” Felicity responded. “I was going to ask, what are you going to say?”

“That,” Laurel said, “is a very good question.”

****

After Laurel left to face her demons, Felicity was left to deal with her own.

She couldn’t shake the feeling that someone had been watching her before. She pulled up the camera footage from the clocktower. When she had decided to make this place her new “lair”, she had Diggle install hidden cameras all around the building for this exact purpose.

She fast forwarded through the footage quickly. It was all a blur, no clear shapes were popping up. She thought she glimpsed movement and hit pause. Her heart plunged into her chest.

She rewound a little, then fast forwarded again, pausing it on the exact moment she had before. It was Oliver all right, dressed in his League attire. His quiver and bow were slung behind his back, his hair cropped close to his head. He looked tired. He also was giving Nyssa a kiss on the head and pulling her close.

 _Well,_ she thought, _maybe they did end up loving each other after all_.

****

Laurel sat in her car, trying to calm her nerves. Her heart was already racing and she couldn’t seem to slow it down. She thought about going to grab her Black Canary outfit but thought better of it. It wouldn’t do any good to show up in Nyssa’s hideout dressed in her gear.

She was parked a few blocks away from the address Felicity had given her. Laurel found herself thinking of Sara. Sara was always so strong, so sure of herself and who she was. A calmness washed over her.  _Sara would have been able to do this – she would have been able to put herself out there. She wouldn’t have been afraid of rejection. She wanted me to be happy_

“I can do this,” Laurel announced to herself. “I can see her.”

She reached to the seat next to her to grab her bag, and immediately jumped as someone tapped on the driver’s window. She spun around and came face to face with Nyssa. Suddenly, Laurel found herself wanting to be anywhere but here, wishing a whole continent was between them and not just a sheet of glass. Not knowing what else to do, she rolled down the window.

“I was wondering if you were going to show up,” Nyssa said, unsmiling. “Get out, we need to talk.”

Laurel removed herself from the car, her hands visibly shaking.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Nyssa said.

Despite her body language, that was  _not_ what Laurel was afraid of.

“Come,” Nyssa announced as she spun around and started walking. “I don’t want to be spotted.”

Laurel looked at her quizzically.

“By anyone other than you and Felicity,” Nyssa finished.

They walked in silence, darting through alleyways, up a few fire escapes, around buildings. To Laurel, it felt like they were going in circles. Maybe they were. Finally, they arrived at their destination and sure enough, it was an old, run down building, the last inhabitants long gone. The hair on Laurel’s body stood on end as goosebumps raised across her skin. Nyssa led her into the building and up the stairs into a large, nearly empty room.

A figure stood in the shadows across the room, back turned to her.

“I’ve brought her,” Nyssa announced.

The breath was knocked out of Laurel from pure shock as the figure spun around. Oliver stood in front of her, dressed in his League attire. She took a step towards him, curiosity getting the best of her. She hadn’t seen him in three years and while he looked the same, she had a feeling he was not.

“Oliver,” she whispered.

“Al Sah-him,” he corrected sternly. She automatically took a step back.

“Al Sah-him,” Laurel stated, bowing mockingly.

“Do not mock us,” Nyssa said coldly from behind Laurel. She moved around Laurel then, coming to stand beside Oliver at her place on his right.

The silence was unbearable. Finally, Laurel spoke.

“I didn’t know you’d be here, Oliver.” She refused to use his League name. He ignored it.

“I have business to attend to in Starling.”

“So I’ve heard,” she paused. “I was wondering if I could speak with Nyssa. That’s why I came here.”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“Do you not understand the definition of the word  _no_ , Laurel Lance?” Oliver said cruelly.

“You really  _have_ changed,” she whispered, more to herself than to anyone else in the room. “I tried to tell Felicity that even if you did show up, you wouldn’t be the same. This is going to kill her, Oliver.”

“My name is Al Sah-him!” He bellowed, slamming his fist onto the rotting table next to him. The table shattered.

Nyssa laid a gentle hand on Oliver’s arm, whispering something under her breath into his ear. He relaxed significantly, but was clearly still tense. Laurel watched the interaction with interest, wondering what exactly it was between them.

“Why can’t I speak to Nyssa?” Laurel asked, interrupting their private moment.

Oliver gave Nyssa a look, and then nodded. Without a word, she picked up her quiver and bow, and jumped out of the window. Laurel started to protest, and made a move to run after her, but Oliver interrupted her.

“Because I wanted a word with you first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Olicity coming up soon :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the comments! I hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think!

Oliver was pacing around the room, Laurel leaning against a wall several feet away from him. Although he had told her he wanted to speak to her, he remained silent as he gathered his thoughts, preparing himself for what needed to be done. He knew he had to be strict with her, he couldn’t show her that any part of his former self remained. If he did, she’d think there was a chance of getting him back.

He had told Nyssa before Laurel showed up that he was going to need to speak to her first, which is why she knew to leave them alone.

_“What could you possibly say to her that will give her comfort?” Nyssa asked._

_ “Nothing. But that’s the point. I need to convince her that the Oliver she knew no longer exists.” _

_ “You don’t even know that she’ll find us.” _

_ “I do. We saw them in the clocktower,” he said, purposefully omitting Felicity’s name. “Laurel will have asked her to find you. And she will.” _

_ “I was rather careful,” Nyssa replied. _

_ “Even so, Fel--she--will find you. And when Laurel comes looking for you, I will need a moment alone with her first.” _

_ They both remained silent for a moment, thinking about the people they loved. _

_ “You know what you’re going to have to do,” Oliver said quietly, “when you do talk to her.” _

_ “I do,” Nyssa replied, sadness washing over her eyes. _

Oliver snapped himself back to the present. He stopped pacing and turned to face Laurel, arms folded across his chest.

“Let’s hear it,” she murmured.

“Nyssa and I are only here temporarily. We will be returning to Nanda Parbat as soon as our business here has concluded. You’re only going to hurt yourself by speaking with her.”

“Nyssa’s a big girl,” Laurel replied nastily. “She can make her own decisions. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, then I will happily leave her alone.”

Silence.

“You know,” Laurel continued, “I never would have believed it myself.”

“Believed what?” Oliver replied, taking the bait.

“That you’d really become this...person. I’ve spent the last few years thinking, hoping, that you had managed to retain some shred of your old self. That if we were to ever meet again in a dark alley, you’d hug me and embrace me and then go on your way. I didn’t think you’d be --”

“So cold?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not Oliver Queen, anymore. He’s gone. And it’s time you accept that.”

Before Laurel had time to reply, Oliver had picked up his weapons and followed Nyssa out the window, leaving Laurel standing there alone.

***

Nyssa had been watching Laurel and Oliver from the building across the street. The moment she saw Oliver leave, she placed one of her special arrows into the bow, and shot it across the street. She threw the bow over her shoulder, and grabbed onto the wire that now stretched across the alley. Ten seconds later, she landed gracefully on her feet directly in front of Laurel. 

"Time for us to talk," Nyssa announced.

***

Felicity was super late. She was supposed to be at Diggle’s half an hour ago to watch Sara for a bit. She had, of course, become distracted by Oliver’s appearance in Starling City. She’d watched the video 100 times of Oliver and Nyssa, trying to figure out if it was love or friendship that made him embrace her in such a way. The more she thought about it, the more she realized just how much she cared.

As she hurried up the street, she had the feeling again that someone was watching her. She looked over her shoulder as she slowly reached her hand into her bag to grab the pepper spray. Just as she was pulling it out --

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Her stomach plummeted. Standing in front of her, dressed completely in black clothing, was Oliver. He stood perfectly straight, his quiver and bow slung over his back. She noticed the way he leaned a little to his left and wondered if he had injured his right foot. His arms were folded across his chest as he glared at her. As his eyes pierced hers, she forgot everything. She forgot how much it had hurt her, every day, for the past three years. She forgot how much she had loved him, how much she missed him. She forgot what time it was, what day it was. She forgot her own name. Because here he was, standing in front of her. And nothing else mattered.

“Felicity,” he nodded to her as he spoke her name. He hadn’t said it in years. When he agreed to take over for Ra’s, he had held onto a small part of his former life, deep within himself. He had known that speaking her name would open the floodgates, so to speak, and knew he needed to keep the dam closed for as long as possible. But here she was, standing in front of him, and he couldn’t _not_ say her name.

She was at a loss for words.

“Since you were able to track Nyssa down for Laurel, I assumed it wouldn’t be long before you found me as well. I figured it was better I come to you rather than you attempt to seek me out.”

He was different, she thought. Colder. Darker. And something else.

“How are you? I mean, obviously you’re in charge of the League of Assassins, but you know, I --” she was babbling, not sure of what else to say. “I wasn’t sure you’d show up but it’s, umm, it’s nice to see you after all of these years. I hope you’re well. You know I’m just going to keep talking until you stop me,” she added.

When he had been _Oliver_ , he would have smiled at this. He would have laughed at her or put his hand on her shoulder or gave her some look, and she’d know she was rambling on and being awkward and she’d stop. But this Oliver, this imposter, did no such thing. Instead, he continued to stare at her.

So she continued. Because she was Felicity.

“How’s Nyssa doing? Are you guys still married? Do you have any kids yet? Do League members even have kids?”

“Enough,” Oliver said, finally interrupting her. “I don’t have time for this.”

And in that moment, Felicity heard the remnants of her heart shatter. This was clearly not her Oliver.

“Then why did you bother to even come?” Felicity said, the hurt beginning to seep out.

“I told you. I didn’t want you to come looking for me,” he paused briefly. “Nyssa and I are here to investigate something. We’ll be gone in a few days. Hopefully.”

“Does this something have anything to do with the Justice League by any chance?”

He looked at her quizzically, “It does.”

“Well then, you may actually end up needing my help. You know where to find me when you decide to stop being such an ass.” She turned around and started to walk away from him. It was going against every instinct her body. She wanted to run towards him, not away.

“Felicity, this is who I am now. I'm a different person,” he called after her. And then coldly added, “Move on.”

She spun around and looked at him. Her eyes, which had been so full of anger a minute ago, softened slightly.  

“I won’t give up on you,” she whispered to him before turning around and walking away. Oliver would have come after her. But Al Sah-him let her go.

***

The moment she was out of sight, Oliver collapsed in on himself. He leaned over with his hands on his knees, taking slow, deep breaths. His heart physically hurt, he felt sick and awful and terrible and wanted nothing more than to run after her and throw his arms around her. He wanted to comfort her and to apologize. He wanted to tell her that on the days when he wanted to die, he had thought of her. When he had been distraught or angry, sad or alone, just the image of her face had kept him sane. When he had to make horrible, tough decisions, it was her voice in his head telling him that it would be okay. He’d thought time and distance would make him forget his love for her. But he had been wrong. So very wrong.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to post this chapter. Life got in the way (the season of Arrow ended, my little brother graduated from college, craziness at work, etc.). Hope it was worth the wait. Please let me know your thoughts! Enjoy!

“We need to talk.” Nyssa repeated as she walked past Laurel. Their shoulders almost touched, and Laurel jumped slightly from the near interaction. Laurel turned around to face Nyssa who was now leaning against a wall in the shadows.

“You came looking for me.” Nyssa continued, “And before you say anything foolish, I want you to listen to what I have to say.”

Laurel, who had several retorts to this, bit her tongue and nodded.

“Before I was forced to marry Oliver, before all choice was taken from me, I thought there may have been something between us.” Nyssa swallowed.

“I felt --”

“Let me finish,” Nyssa interrupted. “I was wrong. I missed Sara. I loved her with all my heart, with all my soul, and when I was with you, it felt like I was closer to her. It’s _her_. It will always be _her_.”

Laurel felt the room go out of focus. She was frozen, unable to move, barely hearing the words coming out of Nyssa’s mouth.

“What it was between us...it was nothing. It wasn’t real. How could I fall for _you_ when I loved your sister so completely?” She paused at this, glancing up quickly to meet Laurel’s eyes.

“So before you say something silly and irrational like how you’ve spent three years thinking about me and what could have been, I thought you ought to know how _I_ really felt.”

The truth was, a part of Laurel had expected this. Of course Nyssa had loved Sara. No one could deny that after seeing the two of them together. But the thing was, when Laurel and Nyssa had become close over those few months of training three years ago, Laurel had felt something she had never felt before. It wasn’t just that Nyssa was a woman, Laurel had found other women stunning and attractive before. It was that she had made her feel complete. Being around Nyssa was like stepping out of the shade and into the sun. Nyssa had taught her how to fight, and in the process, had also taught her how to _love_. So hearing all of this, well, Laurel wasn’t completely surprised. But that didn’t make it any less devastating.

“Additionally,” Nyssa added, like she was going through a checklist of hurtful things she wanted to say, “Al Sah-him and I are married.”

Laurel, choosing to ignore three-quarters of this conversation, finally replied, “Yes, that much I do remember.”

Nyssa was still standing in the shadows, her face mostly hidden. Laurel was pretty sure she had chosen to stand in that spot precisely for this reason.

“Well,” Laurel begin, swallowing the tears that threatened to run down her cheeks at any minute. She decided to tell Nyssa the truth. “This isn’t completely unexpected. I didn’t realize how I felt about you until after you and Oliver were married and gone. There was a part of me, though, that assumed you were only trying to get close to me because you were trying to get close to Sara. I reminded you of her. I knew that. But I also, apparently foolishly, thought that what we had was different and unique and special. I can’t deny that I’ve spent the last few years thinking you felt the same way.”

Laurel, who had been so strong in the past few years, told herself she just needed to be strong for a few minutes longer.

“I just have one question,” Laurel said, taking a step towards Nyssa. “One question, and then I’ll leave.”

“I’ll answer it,” Nyssa replied. Laurel thought her voice sounded strained. She took another step towards her.

“Do you love him? Oliver?” Another step. “Do you love him the way you’re supposed to love the person you are married to?” Laurel took one last step towards her. She was close enough that she could see Nyssa’s chest move with each breath, she could see the glimmer of sweat on her face. Nyssa was silent, clearly trying to control her breathing. They were so close, Laurel was starting to lose focus, her eyes focused on Nyssa’s lips. One more step --

“No,” Nyssa replied. One second she was standing directly in front of Laurel, the next, she was all the way across the room. “No, I don’t love him that way.”

“That’s what I thought,” Laurel replied as she left, leaving Nyssa standing alone.

****

Oliver, visibly distraught, returned to his and Nyssa’s hideout to find her not doing much better.

He wondered if it was worth pretending he was Al Sah-him with Nyssa anymore. He took one look at her and decided it wasn’t.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Not even a little bit. You?”

“I’ve had better days,” he replied. He sighed, “I didn’t realize it was going to be this hard. I thought that the years would make it easier.”

“Time heals most wounds. But it doesn’t heal them all,” she replied. She gave him a small smile. “I did as you asked.”

“It must not have been easy.”

“You were right, though. It’s for the best. This life...I don’t want her connected to it.”

They remained silent as Oliver began to pace around the room.. Nyssa could always tell when he was lost in thought. He’d start pacing, fold his arms across his chest, and scratch his chin every so often. She was surprised she’d picked up on his habits, but after spending so much time together, how could she not?

“You know,” Nyssa interrupted him, “You haven’t acted like your old self for this long since you became Al Sah-him.”

“Being back here…” he trailed off.

“I know. It’s just, throughout the years, I knew you were still in there somewhere. Because you were kind to me, when you could have been cruel. Why though? Why have you stayed?”

“I’m a coward,” Oliver began. “It’s really that simple. I never planned to stay this long. When I took over for your father...I had a plan in place. I’d turn the League of Assassins into something _better_. I wanted to change it, to use my power to do some real good. At first, I did it all to save Thea. I traded her life for my soul - for who I was. I promised myself I wouldn’t let being Al Sah-him be who I really was....but as time passed, I realized that maybe I had done it all to also save the people I loved from _me_.”

“Al Sah-him…”

“Oliver,” he corrected her. “Here, in Starling, it’s Oliver.”

She felt his pain. It was etched on every inch of face and she wanted to beat herself up for not noticing it these past three years.

He continued, “I convinced myself I didn’t deserve them. I didn’t deserve to have friends or family or the woman I loved. I’ve hurt, killed, and destroyed so many people. And I started to tell myself they were better off without me. At first, I had planned to go back...the thought of Felicity dating other people, marrying someone else...it killed me. But when I was Al Sah-him, I didn’t feel any of that. And it was easier to not feel the pain.”

She understood better than he thought. She reached for him, resting her hand gently on his arm.

“Maybe it’s time for us to feel it. To remember,” she said gently.

“I can’t afford to do that,” he looked at her. “But you can. Go to her.”

“I will not betray my oath to the League. Or to you.”

“Nyssa,” he said, slightly frustrated. “I can’t pretend anymore. Being back here...I can no longer pretend to be someone I’m not. Who I’ve been the past three years, it’s not who I am. You deserve to be with the person you _really_ love and not who you were forced to marry. So go to her. Go to her and apologize and tell her how you really feel.” He looked at her with such fondness that Nyssa wanted nothing more than to comfort him and tell him everything would be okay.

“And what about you? I won’t leave you alone in this.”

“I still need to investigate what is going on at Palmer Technologies...and then I need to get out of here as quickly as possible.”

“But where will you go?”

“To Nanda Parbat. To step down.”

“They’ll never let you. And they won’t let me leave the League either, Oliver.”

“Well…” he said, his eyes meeting hers. “I am still Al Sah-him for now. And I release you.”

“No.”

“I command it, so it is done.” He walked over to her and planted a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“They’ll never let you leave there alive!” she shouted after him. But it was too late, he was gone.

***

Oliver crouched on a roof across the street from Palmer Technologies. He knew the sooner he figured out what was going on there, the sooner he would be able to leave. He scanned the area, trying to pick up on any clues as to what was going on while knowing he was going to need to get inside. He took his cell phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his contacts until he got to the names that began with F. He was distracted, debating whether or not he should call her. Before he could decide, the wind was suddenly knocked out of him. As he turned around to see who had knocked him over, a booming voice announced, “Oliver Queen. So we meet again.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for how long it took me to post this chapter. I always find it harder to write in the summer since I feel like I should be outside enjoying the nice weather before it becomes cold again. But thank you to all of those who have been patiently waiting for this chapter! Please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> I post my chapters on tumblr first, so be sure to follow fangirlsfanclub.tumblr.com.

“Oliver Queen. So we meet again.”

“It’s Al Sah-him,” Oliver quickly corrected as he jumped to his feet. In a split second, he loaded an arrow into his bow. Whoever had just knocked him down had quickly retreated and stayed hidden in the shadows. It made Oliver nervous that he couldn’t see his attacker’s face. “Show yourself or I’ll shoot.”

“You wouldn’t recognize me. Not as my true self.”

“You have five seconds to tell me what you want before I shoot you,” Oliver said huskily.

“Patience, Oliver. Patience.” The man took a step towards him, but his face was still hidden. If his attacker just moved a few feet to the left into the light from the neighboring building, Oliver would be able to see him. But he deliberately stayed hidden.

“We haven’t formally met. But I’ve kept my eye on you for quite some time now. Even before you joined the League.”

“Get to the point. Quickly.” Even though Oliver knew he shouldn’t, he had relaxed slightly. Something told him this man wasn’t here to kill him. At least, not tonight.

“You see,” the man began again, “we have some common…interests. I don’t want to see any harm befall Starling City.”

Oliver remained silent, bow still raised.

“I just wanted to say hello and make my presence known,” the voice from the shadows continued. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other sooner than you think.”

Oliver wished he recognized the voice, but he didn’t. Before Oliver could even respond, the man was gone.

****

Felicity was staring at her computer screen, doing absolutely nothing useful when she felt her phone vibrate.

She hesitated a moment since she didn’t recognize the number. One vibration, then another. She was still holding the phone, contemplating answering, when Laurel snatched it out of her hand and answered for her.

Figuring it was Diggle, Laurel announced “You’ve reached the home of the broken-hearted, ” as she hit speakerphone.

“Hand the phone to Felicity,” Al Sah-him’s deep voice came through the end of the phone. Felicity and Laurel both looked at each other, frozen. Laurel quickly hit mute as Felicity snatched the phone out of her hands.

“Why is he calling me?” she said, beyond panicked. Felicity and Laurel had filled each other in on their encounters with Oliver and Nyssa respectively, and it hadn’t seemed like they were interested in speaking again anytime soon.

“Maybe because of the Justice League thing?” Laurel said, looking at Felicity and then back out the window. She could have sworn she saw a shadow move on the building across the street.

Felicity swallowed before hitting unmute. “I’m here.”

“Take me off speakerphone,” Al Sah-him replied.

She did as he asked. “You’re off speakerphone. How can I be of service?”

“Felicity, I don’t have time for sarcasm right now. I’m guessing you can still hack into the Palmer Technology security cameras and –”

“I can,” she interrupted. “But I won’t.”

“Let me finish. It’s not for what you think. I’m on the roof of the building across the street from Palmer Technologies –”

“So it is exactly what I think.”

“Please stop interrupting me,” he sighed. “While I was there, someone came up behind me and knocked me out momentarily. When I came to, he was standing in the shadows and I couldn’t make out his face.”

Automatically, her heart started racing. She wanted to ask if he was okay, she wanted to tell him that  _this_  is why she worried about him every moment that he’s been gone. But instead, she replied, “So you didn’t see them at all?”

“As I just said, they stayed hidden in the shadows.”

Felicity was silent for a moment. “I’ll see what I can find.”

“Thank you,” Oliver said. And then, in a voice Felicity almost recognized, “And Felicity, for what it’s worth, thank you for not giving up on me yet.”

And then he hung up the phone.

****

Felicity couldn’t figure it out. All of the images she was able to pull from the security cameras surrounding Palmer Technologies were blurry. She spotted Oliver in a few frames, and she could from his movement in the images that he had been pacing. But the moment the timestamp hit 9:42:15 pm, every single frame was blurry. You could tell there were two people in the images, but she couldn’t make out the face of the man standing next to Oliver. And every time she tried to get a clearer image, her computers froze.

She was becoming increasingly frustrated when her phone vibrated again, causing her to jump.

“Felicity Smoak.”

“It’s me.”

Just hearing his voice caused her heart to start racing before plummeting into her stomach. She swallowed as she tried to find her voice.

“Felicity, are you there?”

She cleared her throat. “Umm, yes sorry.”

“Were you able to get an image of him?” Oliver asked. He was still cold and distant, but less so than he had originally. She couldn’t help but think about what he said to her an hour ago.  _Thank you for not giving up on me yet._  What did that even mean? It was the  _yet_  that was throwing her off.

“It’s weird,” she responded. “The moment he appears on the rooftop, every single frame on all of the cameras become blurry and I can’t figure it out. I keep trying to clear up the image but it freezes the computers.”

“Hmm. Okay. Can you send the blurry images to my phone? I’m going to forward them to a friend of the League who may be able to help.”

“Sure,” she said. She paused, waiting for him to hang up. Several seconds passed and they both remained silent. Then, “Oliver?”

“Al Sah-him,” he corrected for the tenth time that day. He said it softer though, as if he didn’t truly mean it. As if he missed hearing her say his  _real_ name.

“Nevermind,” she said. And then it was her turn to hang up on him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve spent the last month traveling so I am so sorry that I was unable to post this sooner. For those who follow my other fic The Return, I hope to have chapter 2 up either today or some point this holiday weekend. As always, please leave your comments. Have a great one!

She wasn’t hard to find. Nyssa had a feeling she’d be at the gym. She stood in the shadows, watching her. Laurel had wrapped her hands and forearms in tape, but hadn’t bothered to put on boxing gloves. Nyssa spotted the gloves laying on the floor several feet from where Laurel stood, taking out all of her sadness, anger, and aggression on the punching bag in front of her.

Nyssa watched her until Laurel’s knuckles began to bleed, covered in sweat. She didn’t want to interrupt her.

“You should have worn these,” Nyssa said as she stepped out of the darkness, holding the boxing gloves out to Laurel.

Laurel smiled slightly at her. “I wanted to feel it. The pain, I mean.”

Nyssa nodded at her, acknowledging that she understood. As a member of the League, she knew what it meant to want to feel pain. Sometimes, she was so numb that she forgot she could feel things at all. She remained silent, looking down at the ground, unsure of where to begin.

After what felt like eternity, Laurel asked, “What brought you here? Do you need something?”

Before Nyssa had time to overthink what she was doing, she took the three steps that stood between her and Laurel and placed a hand on Laurel’s cheek, the other wrapped around her back. She looked into her eyes, breathing deeply, as if to ask _is this okay?_  When Laurel didn’t step back or say anything, Nyssa leaned in and kissed her gently. And then Laurel leaned into it, wrapping her arms around Nyssa and kissed her back.

After an hour, or maybe it had only been a few minutes, Laurel took a step back. “What changed your mind?” she whispered.

“Oliver,” was all Nyssa said, before she took a step towards Laurel and kissed her again.

****

There were a lot of things Oliver wanted to say to Felicity. About how much he had missed her, how much he still loved her, how much he wished he’d never left. But none of those things would be helpful right now.

She stood a few feet from him, just out of arm’s reach. He could see the tears running down her cheeks as she began to hyperventilate.

“Hey -” he said, reaching for her. She immediately took a step back and shook her head at him, unable to speak.

“Felicity –” he began again. And then he paused, realizing there was nothing he could say that would comfort her in this moment. The three years they had spent apart laid between them, and while all he wanted to do was hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay, she wouldn’t let him. Because he was no longer a source of comfort for her.

_“Yes?” Oliver said as he answered his phone._

_“Sir, I have the image you requested.”_

_“Great. Can you send it to my phone?”_

_“Absolutely.”_

_With the screen on his phone being too small, Oliver knew he needed to head to the clocktower to get a better look on one of Felicity’s computer screens. He texted her:_ Received the image from my contact - meet me at the clocktower in 30?

_His heart skipped a beat as he hit send and shoved his phone into his pocket. He didn’t want to check for a response for a few minutes, scared that she would ignore him or refuse to help._

_He paced around the apartment where him and Nyssa were staying, in separate rooms, while he got his nerves under control. He knew he needed to stop thinking about Felicity, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t let her go._

_After a few minutes, he checked his phone for a response._ Ok  _was all she said._

_***_

_Felicity was sitting at her computers when Oliver arrived._

_“Hi,” he said to announce his presence. She merely nodded at him._

_“I’m sending you the file now, do you mind pulling it up on the screens so we can get a better look at this guy?”_

_“Okay,” she responded as she uploaded the file from Oliver._

_She opened the image across two desktops, cropping Oliver out and zooming in the the guy. Oliver’s phone rang again, his contact on the other line._

_“Sir - we have confirmation.”_

_“On what?” He quipped._

_“Sir, it’s Damien Darhk..”_

_“Who is?” Oliver asked, and then a beat later, “The man in the image is Damien Darhk?”_

_“Yes, sir.” Oliver hung up the phone and turned his attention back to the screen._

_“The man who attacked you is Damien Darhk?” Felicity whispered. “The head of H.I.V.E. Damien Darhk?”_

_“Apparently. Zoom in closer, I want to get a better look at this guy.”_

And that was when it happened. Felicity gasped and before Oliver could figure out what was happening, she was halfway across the room, leaning against the back wall and shaking her head.

After realizing he couldn’t comfort her like he used, after she had her breathing under control, he prodded her again, but from across the room. “Felicity,” Oliver said gently, “what is it?”

She shook her head at him, and then took a towards the computer screen. “It can’t be him,” she whispered.

Oliver remained silent, watching her carefully. The tension etched across her face, her shoulders hunched, tears running down her cheeks. It was so hard for him not to wrap his arms around her. He didn’t even know what was wrong, but the urge to protect her and cherish her was overwhelming. She stared at the computer screen as she spoke.

“Almost every day, for the past two decades, I have wondered what happened to that man,” she said as she pointed at the photo. “When I was younger, I couldn’t figure out how someone could just abandon his wife, his child. His family.”

She paused, pulling her eyes away from the screen and focusing on Oliver’s face. “I guess it makes sense now, considering my father is apparently Damien Darhk.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yep, I hadn't updated this story in 16 months. I am SO sorry. I could give you a list of reasons, but I know you aren't interested :) I'm sorry if there are any inconsistencies with the other chapters (it has been 16 months since I touched this), but I tried my best. Thank you for all of the kind comments over the past year about how much this story has meant to you, they are the reason that I picked it back up. So if you want me to continue, please leave comments or kudos and I will finish it up.

Oliver paced back and forth while Felicity talked quietly on the phone behind him. In the past, he had been the person she turned to when she had a problem. He wanted to go to her, but realized that in the three years that he’d been gone, she’d found other sources of comfort. 

He turned back to her as she hung up on the phone. “Dig’s on his way.”

He nodded.  “I need to call Nyssa.”

She didn’t bother to look at him as she mumbled, “Whatever you need to do,” as he went outside to make the call.

His flip phone was battered and broken, but the basic functions still worked. There wasn’t really a need for cell phones in the League, but he did use it every once in awhile. He’d had to pull it out of the bottom of his trunk for the trip to Starling. He had Nyssa on speed dial, and as he was about to press the call button, he hesitated. If he called Nyssa, what would Felicity think? And then he reminded himself that he was still the leader of the League, that he was Al Sah-him, and that even though he had  _ technically _ released her, Nyssa was still his wife. She’d also been his closest confidant these last three years. He knew what calling her would imply, but until he was able to step down and tell Felicity the truth about how he felt, he needed Nyssa. She answered on the second ring, sounding slightly out of breath. 

“Al Sah-him?” 

“I need you to come to the clocktower. Now.”

“What happened?"

“It’s…complicated. But I need you.” He hung up the phone before she could respond.

He turned around to head back inside only to find Felicity standing in the doorway, arms wrapped around her herself. She’d wrapped a pink scarf around her neck, her chin and the bottom of her mouth hiding in it. He resisted the urge to walk up to her and pull it down, if only to look so he could look upon her whole face. 

“I remember the day you told me you were going to marry her.”

Oliver began, “Felicity, we don’t need to talk about this right now.” He knew she was trying to distract herself from the fact that the man who had abandoned her as a child also happened to be Damien Darkh.

“Actually, we do.” She took a step towards him. “I remember the day vividly because it also happened to be the same date that my father had left my mother and I eighteen years before.”

He rubbed his hand across his face, unsure of what to say, how to respond.

“And in the last few years since you left, I always wondered if it was same strange cosmic joke, you know? Like oh look, here’s the most painful day of the year for Felicity Smoak.”

“Felicity -”

“Let me finish.” He nodded for her to continue. “The funny thing is, I never really thought about that day anymore. It didn’t bother me. And then you left with Nyssa, to marry her, to become the leader of the League of Assassins, and then all of a sudden once again, it was the most painful day of the year. But not because of my father leaving. Because of you.”

He swallowed the urge to run to her.

“And that’s when it came back to me. Why I hated that date so damn much. And these last few years that day has been filled with not only memories of  _ you _ leaving, but also of  _ him _ . And I, I just thought that you should know that you leaving didn’t just destroy me, Oliver, it  _ broke _ me.”

Oliver didn’t feel like correcting his name. He didn’t feel like doing anything. And just as he was thinking about where to even begin, what to say to her, Diggle showed up.

****

“I don’t understand,” Nyssa said, leaning over the computer to look at the image. Laurel had tried to come with her, but without knowing what exactly Oliver had needed her for, she thought it’d be safer to leave her behind. “Explain it to me again.”

“He attacked me. And -”

“This is where you’re losing me. You  _ let _ him get the drop on you? The leader of the League of Assassins, defeated by a man in the shadows?” She chuckled.

“Nyssa, I didn’t  _ let _ him do anything! I was distracted!” He glared at her.

“Okay, okay,” she said, holding her hands up to placate him. 

“Can you two please focus?” Diggle interjected. Diggle had showed up to the clocktower and tried to pretend Oliver didn’t exist. He didn’t shake his hand or say hi, or embrace the man who had once been his closest friend. Instead, he’d gone straight to Felicity and given her a hug. But he’d accepted that he was going to have to talk to Oliver, and Nyssa,  if they were to figure out a plan.

Oliver was looking over Nyssa, trying to figure out what had gotten into her. He’d never seen her so lighthearted. In fact, he couldn’t remember ever seeing her make a joke. And then he remembered.  _ Laurel _ .

“Okay he knocked you out. You come to. He’s standing over you. And when you finally get a clear image of the guy, you -” she turned to Felicity, “recognize him as your father?”

Felicity nodded.

“And you,” she said turning back to Oliver, “have confirmation this is Damien Darkh?”

“Correct.”

She was silent.

“This has to do with the device that’s at Palmer Technologies,” Oliver began. “It makes sense. He heard about it, heard there was some threat to Starling, and came back to make sure Felicity was okay.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Felicity said, fidgeting with the scarf. “For a man who vanished into thin air eighteen years ago...that would mean he’s been keeping tabs on me.”

“Why yes, yes I have.”

Diggle, Felicity, Nyssa, and Oliver all spun around in unison to find Damien Darkh standing in the shadows. He took a step into the light. 

  
“And I’ve been watching you,” he said, pointing a finger towards Felicity, “watch him.” He pointed to Oliver. “Time we had a little chat, Al Sah-him.”


End file.
